I sit in a quiet house. The TV on mute. Kids snuggled asleep in their beds. And Ryan beating his drums at church. My eyes are burning from exhaustion...and it's only 8:30pm. My life is a continuation from the previous day, it seems. Some days my only goal is to hear my kiddos laugh. I get excited when I can cook a good meal for less than $4 that everyone enjoys. Vacuuming once a week is an overachievment. If Ryan forgets to set the coffee pot it can throw off my whole morning. And if I'm not at the grocery store by 8:30am then there is no use going that day due to kid's schedules.
All this adds up to one thing. Aging. And I don't even know how that happened! I'm turning 30 in about a month. ouch. ouch. ouch.
I recently was talking with my Mimi about milestone birthdays. This happened to be on her 80th bday and I decided to probe her mind a bit about aging. Mimi is very blunt and honest, which I admire and love about her. I asked her if turning 80 was hard..."No, I don't feel any different than yesterday". What was your hardest bday, Mimi?...."Thirty, most definitely."
That's right folks!! THIRTY! And here I am. She said that turning 30 felt like leaving your childhood behind and entering into adulthood. You might be laughing at that statement...thinking, "well, Angela...you have 3 children and have been married nearly 10 years! Doesn't that qualify as being an adult?!" Sure it does. But, in my mind, I'm in my 20's!! Young and free! (Well, okay, maybe not free...but young!)
Then there is the whole thought that my days are just simply flying by! I want to freeze my children at these ages....when they are young and in my care. Minimally influenced by the outside and majorly influenced by us. But, it's impossible! Time keeps ticking by!
So, since it appears that tomorrow will be here whether I'm ready or not, maybe I should just go ahead to bed. Even at 8:45pm. Because I'm 29.
8 years ago
4 comments:
Ah, I can so relate... and for some reason I also have been feeling very old lately and I think it might be the whole 30s thing. I never felt old until now. My students don't gasp when I tell them I have 3 kids anymore. They expect it... I'm old. I can't blend in at the college service anymore.. too old. I see pictures of us just 5 years ago and think, man we looked so much younger. New territory these 30s are. Glad to know I'm not alone.
Fantastic post, friend. As I sat on the eve of 30, just a couple of weeks ago, I had these same thoughts, anxieties, etc. I still do. But to tell you the truth-- 30 REALLY feels no different than 29. :)
K
I think I've always felt old. :) Just kidding. Thank you for sharing what's on your heart and mind today!!! When I think about my hardest birthdays, they rank in this order so far: 1) 35 2) 26 and 3) 30. At 35, I had to move into the next "check the box" box. WHAT???? No way....Love you, Ang!
Aw, girl! So real, and so true. I'm with ya! Wish I was just now turning 30, though. I am squarely in my thirties now, and I must say, some days I feel like I'm already having a mid-life crisis! I can relate. ;)
Post a Comment