Change

Change is good, right? Sometimes it's scary, exhilerating, life-changing change. At times I am racing towards change - longing to get there faster. Other times, I drag my feet.

Today I do both.

Ryan starts his new job in Lexington tomorrow as a Counselor. This wife could not be prouder. I've watched my husband pour over hours and hours of books, along with hours and hours of papers to get through Grad School. All this while entertaining his daughter, loving his wife unconditionally, and seeking the will of God in all that he did. While in grad school, we found out about two pregnancies - if you know me, you know that means trouble for the first 4 months. :) We had a son and Ryan stepped up to entertain two children all while juggling school. Did I mention Ryan always worked while taking full-time course loads? Lots of hours, lots of work. I'm still getting used to the feeling of going to bed at the same time! No more late nights of studying. While in grad school, we buried Ryan's father. Not a change we were expecting, or wanting. We also shared countless lunches at our table together. Between chapel and class, we'd rush home to sit and eat sandwhiches together. Those were blissful days. Ryan even accompanied his Preschooling daughter on a field trip this year. Wonderful days. I'm proud of my Ryan and how he's handled the past three years.

So, understandably, I look at tomorrow with a certain amount of fear. What are we facing? Where will this lead us? This husband of mine will be gone long days every day. No more weekday lunches at our table. No more "meet you at chapel" or staying up late to write a paper.

I am ready to leave some of this behind, but am still dragging my feet on a few others.